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Friday, November 02, 2007
I've been reading a book about a shark in the maelstrom's of your being ( kind of a virus in the combination of your mind & body) that eats your memories.
It's a really fucked up book, but amusing none the less.

Maybe there is such a shark in my system.
Friends ask me all the time ' did you remember when you did, when he said this, when we played ninja in class...'
No, i don't.I am a chaotic person, that for sure, and my memory isnt great, but lately I can't remember a thing. Its kind of disturbing, I only remember really outstanding stuff, or random bits of trivia without meaning.
It's like my mind is a sponge and someone wringed it out, leaving only a few drops behind.

My mind was full of memories, feelings, ideas and random other stuff.
Lately it's just blank. I hardly touch a pencil anymore , which i really miss, just drawing for hours, and less and less insane plots to take over the world.
Hardly anything gets a feeling from me.Mostly just some raised eyebrows or ' i am bored.....".

Quite weird. It feels like somebody put me on automatic pilot, and I just CANT FIND THE SWITCH.

So I try to drown myself in books lately ( besides school and social life) so I hardly sleep.
This all sounds pretty emo, but I am not depressed about it. It's just, that I hardly care anymore lately. Everybody talks about all kinds of feelings, and I can hardly remember how such a feeling feels.

Really really disturbing.

I need something drastic. I think I am going to shave my head and become a Buddhist Monk.

copy, out

Music: Vice records remix

9:32 AM; i didn't took a picture.0comment(s)